


When One Door Closes, Another One Opens: Donnie and Amanda

by orphan_account



Category: Donnie Wahlberg - Fandom
Genre: Death, F/M, Forgiveness, Love, New Beginnings, Sex, dreams come true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:17:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7741318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The New Kids' tour buses have been in a terrible accident.</p><p>Donnie's wife has crossed over into eternity, and he is heartbroken.</p><p>On the one-year anniversary of her death, he meets someone. It isn't the first time they've met one another, but he wasn't ready before.</p><p>Will this time be different? Can he move past his pain and find love again with the woman who's been waiting for him for so long?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revisiting Old Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie goes back through some of his painful memories. He thinks it's a journey of endings, of finding closure; he never expected to find himself on an entirely new journey... 
> 
> A journey of healing.

One year. Three hundred and sixty five days. Over 42 million heartbeats had occurred within Donnie's chest since his wife had been killed in the crash, and yet he hadn't truly felt a single one of them. When she had passed away, she had taken a piece of him with her.

He knew it had been an accident. The bus tire had burst, sending the vehicle into a concrete barrier along the M6. No one was to blame; that was part of the problem. With no one to blame, no one at whom to direct his anger and grief, he held it all inside. Even his family and best friends couldn't get him to open up. The truth was, his marriage had been on the rocks at the time - and it made him feel guilty. She'd come along on the tour because she didn't trust him - and for good reason. He'd be caught time and again, texting other girls, sending gifts to fans, clicking through fan photos.. He had already had divorce papers drawn up before leaving for the tour. When they got home, if things hadn't improved, Donnie was going to have her served with the papers.

And then the accident happened. Time had run out.

His love for her, their life together, was built on carefully constructed lies and half-truths - but it was all he had had. Now, he had to start over from nothing. Was that why he needed to go back, to retrace the last hours of her life?

Everyone advised him against it. "You won't find any answers, D," Jon had said wisely. "Accidents happen. There is no rhyme or reason." The others said the same thing, but he felt something pulling him back there, something strong and hard to define.

"I've gotta do it. I've gotta go back."

His friends offered to go with him, but he knew it was a journey he needed to take alone.

As the plane touched down in Manchester Airport, there were no fans waiting to greet him, no screams of joy and flashes of cameras - only the silent old man who was to be his driver. The small sign in the driver's hands read 'D. Walton,' one of Donnie's aliases, and they shook hands, getting acquainted before the George one-handed Donnie's small suitcase to the waiting car.

It was dark; Donnie had planned it that way. He needed to fall asleep in the city where she had died; he didn't know why it was important, but it was. In the morning, he would begin to reconstruct the last day they'd spent together. Tonight, though, was for dreams and regrets.

As George took him into the heart of the city, Donnie watched the people going about their lives. How did they do that? How did people laugh and talk and go dancing, enjoying themselves? That had been him once. Would he ever be that man again?

One particular street seemed to grab his attention. A young woman, probably in her late twenties, was walking home with armloads of groceries. Donnie asked George to slow down as they passed, and the woman seemed to sense the car's approach. Even in the dim light, he could see she was beautiful, and something deep inside him, something which had been asleep for a long time, began to stir. The windows were tinted, but even so, the woman seemed to look through the glass and directly into his eyes. Her shocked expression quickly morphed into one of loving concern, and he had to look away, sliding down in the seat as though he had been doing something shameful. There was so much love in those eyes, it hurt him all the way down to the bone.

Checking in to the hotel, Donnie was both relieved and disappointed that none of the staff or guests seemed to know he was 'famous.' He'd stayed here a year ago, but it was as if he was a stranger. Perhaps that was best. 

As Donnie flicked through the channels in his room, he left it on 'Match of The Day.' That had been what he'd watched on their last night together - trying to drown out the shrill tirade from his wife. Donnie drifted off to the sound of Gary's voice, wondering what the new day would bring.


	2. A Familiar Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie begins his trip down memory lane in the cold light of day.
> 
> What - or, more importantly, WHO - will he find?

The motorway was the same: same number of lanes, countless cars hurtling past on their way to various destinations. He knew it was dangerous to stop here, but he couldn't help himself. 

Was he expecting to see her ghost? Naturally there were no pieces of physical evidence to show the accident had taken place; that was all long gone. Donnie had tried various ways to reach his dead wife, but she never answered. No psychic or meditation or prayer had made her come through. Had she truly left him? Was she happy without him? Did she hate him?

Donnie laid a single rose on the side of the furthest lane. George urged him, as politely as he could, to get back in the car. Was Donnie hoping to be in an accident, to kill himself and end the guilt?

"PLEASE, sir. This really isn't safe!"

Donnie heeded the old man's pleas, getting back into the car. A visibly shaken George asked, "Where to, sir?"

Donnie told him: St Mary's Hospital. 

\--------------------------------------

Hospitals were odd places. On the one hand, so many babies came into the world in hospitals; doctors and nurses saved countless lives here, too. On the other hand, they were the last stop on many people's earthly journey. They were places of grief and pain, of difficult decisions and sad goodbyes. As her husband, he had made the difficult decision to take her off life support. She had been brain dead, with no hope of recovery - but he still felt like a murderer. Had it been a selfish choice?

Donnie wandered the halls until he found one which seemed familiar. The room number came back to him, and he approached it slowly, peering in through the doorway. An elderly woman occupied the bed, hooked up to machines, waiting to die. The sight was overwhelming for him, and he felt dizzy, stumbling away to find a place to sit down. Sinking into the nearest chair, he placed his head in his hands and began to weep.

Something told him to look up. It wasn't a sound; it was a feeling. When he opened his eyes, he saw a woman walking down the hallway with a huge bouquet of purple blooms. The flowers were startling; he'd never seen such vivid purple blossoms before - but then he looked up at her face, and his heart stopped.

It was HER - the woman from the street the night before!

How was that possible? In a city of over half a million people, how had he seen the same one twice in less than twenty four hours? 

As she sensed someone looking at her, she turned to face him. The flowers fell from her hands as she gasped, and Donnie moved to retrieve them. Sheepishly, he handed them to her, and she took hold of them, trembling.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.. to stare."

She blinked, but he did not disappear. "Er, that's alright. Just.. I.. You don't remember me, do you?"

Donnie felt embarrassed. He usually had a good head for names, or at least faces. "I.. Wait a minute."

Amanda fidgeted. Was he going to yell at her? If he caused a scene here, she'd die of embarrassment. Maybe she should make a getaway before that happened. 

"Well, er, I best be off. I'm 'ere to see me mate; she's just 'ad baby." As Amanda turned to go, her face as red as a Man U jersey, Donnie remembered.

"Amanda?"

She nearly tripped over her own foot. It was killing her, but she kept going.

"Hey, wait!" 

He'd said her name - not in disgust or anger, but in surprise. What did that mean?

Donnie's hand brushed against the small of her back, and she nearly dropped the flowers a second time. Her words came in a rush.

"I wasn't stalking you. Swear down, I didn't know you'd be 'ere. I - "

He looked at the flowers again. "Your friend had a baby?"

She nodded. "Yeah. One of me bezzies."

Something like a smile played at his lips. "Do you think she'd mind if I tagged along? I could use something to cheer me up."

Would she mind?? She would KILL Amanda later. "Go on then."

Donnie interpreted that as a 'yes,' and they walked the rest of the way to the mum and baby ward.


	3. Her Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie and Amanda meet the baby.
> 
> Sometimes, healing comes from an unexpected source...

She was perfect: all creamy pale skin and blue eyes. Amanda couldn't get over the baby's hair: so blonde! "You sure she's Darren's?," Amanda teased, earning her a slap on the arm.

"Ee are, cheeky!"

Amanda giggled. "She's lovely. Can I 'old 'er?" Her friend readily agreed, handing over the bundle in her pink blanket. "Alright, our kid? Welcome to the greatest city in the world."

Donnie made a frown. "Boston's the greatest city in the world," he said.

Amanda shook her head. "Not 'round 'ere. Our football team's the number one most popular all over the world."

Bethany agreed. "Boston doesn't even HAVE a 'soccer team,' innit?"

The friends shared a laugh as Donnie looked lost. "I don't understand some of the lingo here."

Seeing a baby, a wonderful bundle of new life, had made him feel better. The pain was still there, but there was something about being in this room that just felt.. right.

"You thought of a name yet?"

Amanda's question snapped him back to reality. Beth smiled.

"I thought about Jennifer Grace. Jenny for short."

Amanda held her breath, looking at Donnie. What would his reaction be? 

Tears pricked his eyes, and he smiled. "That's a beautiful name. A beautiful name for a gorgeous baby girl."

He sidled up to Amanda, cooing over the child. Bethany raised an eyebrow at her friend, as if to say, "What's all this, then?" Amanda smiled, as confused as her friend was.

Baby Jenny seemed to take a shine to Donnie. When she grabbed his finger, Amanda thought her heart might burst. 

A piece of himself had been restored. He graciously posed for a few photos with Bethany and Jenny, and Amanda promised to call round as soon as Beth got sent home. Outside in the hallway, Donnie seemed reluctant to part.

"Listen. I wanna apologize for.. well, all of it."

Amanda knew what 'it' referred to. "Oh aye?"

"Yeah. My head was in a bad place. I.. my marriage.." He sighed. "It wasn't the fairytale we made it seem to be."

Amanda waited, not daring to push him. Let him open up in his own time, his own way.

"You, uh, you got somewhere to be today?"

Her heart leapt into her throat. "Not really. You?"

There was a sadness in his eyes she couldn't decipher. "Actually, I do. I was hoping.." What was he thinking? This was madness. How could he ask this poor love-struck woman to go with him and relive his wife's last hours?

"It's today, isn't it? The anniversary," Amanda said softly. Donnie looked at her.

"How did you..?"

She took his hand, squeezing it. If he pulls away, I'll never get over it, she thought to herself. He didn't.

"I remember. That's why you're here. This is where.."

The guilt she felt at holding a grieving widower's hand ran through her like a chill. Donnie squeezed back.

"I can't ask you to go with me. I need closure; I need to go visit the places where we.. where she.."

Amanda nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I can go wi' you, if you want."

The relief and gratitude spread across his face like sunshine on an open field. "Are you sure?"

She smiled. "I'll go anywhere in the universe if you hold my hand."


	4. The Venue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie goes back to the scene of his last Manchester performance.
> 
> Will it stir up old feelings, or clear the way for new ones?

George was waiting, as promised. If he was surprised to see that Donnie had a girl in tow, he didn't show it.

"Where to now, sir?"

Donnie gave the name of the venue, and just like that, the two of them were on the way to the place they'd first met.

"Do you remember me now? I mean, the first time we met?" Amanda was shocked at her boldness; she was normally quite tongue-tied around him.

"It's coming back to me." He couldn't put it into words - the strange sense of recognition he'd felt upon meeting her. It had scared him then; it scared him still.

The ride seemed so brief. Sitting beside him in the back of the car, Amanda felt like a celebrity. The familiar landscape of her city seemed bright, exciting and new. Donnie seemed to relax a little as the car sped along. He tensed up again, however, as they reached their destination. 

"Y' alright?" 

His throat was tight with emotion. "Yeah. I'm.. I'm good. I can do this. I *need* to do this."

He had cleared it all ahead of his trip; security was okay with letting him in to look around. Amanda couldn't believe she was getting to do this - and with DONNIE, of all people.

Donnie gave the security guard a stern look, and Amanda was cleared to go with him. Once inside, she felt her breath escape.

"This place is dead quiet," she whispered. It was true; there were no thousands of fans, no performers on the stage. It was a little eerie.

Donnie hadn't let go of her hand, whether by choice or out of nerves, she wasn't sure. Either way, she was grateful.

"Would you like to get up onstage?"

Amanda blinked. "Gaggin' to."

Donnie led her from the back of the venue up to the stage. Her shoes were loud without music and screams to muffle them; she felt clumsy as he helped her up.

"Wow."

He stood beside her, staring out at an imaginary crowd. "This is where I stood just before.."

The accident. The rest of the tour had been cancelled. Many fans were still upset, though Amanda didn't blame him.

"That's where I sat," she said, pointing to the general vicinity of where she'd been for the show. What made her say that?, she wondered, kicking herself. As if he wanted to hear her going gaga over him right now.

"I remember."

That wasn't what she'd expected him to say. "You wha'?"

"I remember seeing you there, in the crowd. I.. I had on my stupid shades, but I saw you."

He went on to describe what she'd been wearing, and how she'd had her hair done that night. "I don't believe this."

She sat on the edge of the stage, feet dangling over. He followed her lead, not breaking his hand's grip on hers.

"I really am sorry. For being a jerk. I feel things sometimes, things I can't handle. You know what I mean?"

Amanda nodded. "Yeah. I think."

He was looking at her, really *looking* at her, and she was nervous. The butterflies were having a mad rave inside her stomach.

"I'm not making sense, am I?"

"You are. Just.." His fingers caressed hers, and her eyelids fluttered shut. "God, that feels so.."

He looked around one last time. "I don't feel it here. I don't feel her spirit."

Amanda opened her eyes, her heart sinking. "Where to now, then?"

Donnie wasn't sure.

"Will you show me where you went after the concert? Will you show me where you go in your ordinary life?"

Saying a silent goodbye to the arena, she agreed to take him on a journey into her world.


	5. Scran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda shows Donnie some of the places she frequents in her daily life, and things start to fall into place.

"First up, I'm starvin.' What say we get some dinner?"

Donnie was confused as he opened her car door for her. "Dinner? It's only afternoon."

Amanda laughed. "Here, we call lunch 'dinner.' Evening meal is 'tea.' Try to keep up, alright?"

He shrugged as Amanda gave George directions. Soon they were stopping by her favorite chippy. 

"D'you know what you want, then?"

Donnie wasn't sure. He was hungry, but lately, everything he ate tasted like cardboard; it didn't matter what she ordered.

"I'll order, then. Fish and chips twice with a dash of pea wet," Amanda said confidently to the young girl behind the counter. Donnie wasn't sure he liked the sound of 'pee' in the same sentence as his food. The 'dinner' was served with tiny wooden forks. Amanda laughed as Donnie looked at the food skeptically.

"It's okay. Just try a bit." She pierced a piece on her fork, offering it to him. Donnie scrunched his eyes closed, opening his mouth as Amanda fed him a taste. He chewed, and his eyes opened again in surprise. She nearly dropped the food as he looked right at her. 

"Well?"

Donnie swallowed. "Sound," he said, smiling. Amanda laughed. 

"Looks like you're pickin' up the lingo," she teased him. They ate leaning against the wall of the shop, not wanting to make a mess in the car. The day was turning out to be.. 

"Beautiful," he muttered. Amanda choked on her food, sputtering it out with no grace.

"Pardon?"

"Today. Here. Everything. It's beautiful." He was looking *into* her again, and she shivered. 

"I.. It is?"

"Yeah." He toyed with his food. They ate in silence. It was funny how easy it was, just the two of them there, just.. being. Breathing. How long had Donnie been holding his breath, his heart groaning for something he couldn't name?

When they were both full, Amanda put their rubbish in the bin. "Now what?"

Donnie looked up the street one way, then the other. "You live near here?"

Her heart stuttered in her chest. "Y-yeah. Not far. Why?"

Donnie's eyes were so utterly still. "I just need.. to get away for a while. Lose myself. I thought visiting all those places would make me feel better, but.. I don't think it was ever about the place. I think it was the person."

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean we were wrong for each other in so many important ways. I told myself she was what I wanted, what I needed. I wanted to believe it. I spent years building up the fantasy, selling it to the world. To myself."

Amanda held her breath.

"But?"

"But it wasn't ME. I like attention, sure, but living in a fishbowl? TV cameras day and night? Having to act all - the - time? I can't live like that anymore." He gestured to the ordinary people going past. "They're LIVING. They're not thinking about it or talking about it; they're just - DOING IT."

Amanda blushed. Doing it? 

"Will you take me home, show me around?"

He had asked her something - something important. "Erm, yeah. 'Course I will. Where's George?"

Donnie made a quick phone call, and George pulled the car up alongside them. "Where to?"

The question seemed aimed at both of them this time. What did that mean?

Amanda gave her address, and they were on their way. She only prayed that, if this was all a dream, she wouldn't wake up. Not yet...


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where things get naughty.
> 
> Sappy, but naughty, too.

It wasn't much - not compared to what he was used to - but for her, it was home. The kids were staying the night with friends, which meant peace and quiet. 

The more Amanda thought about the quiet, the more her mind conjured up mental sounds and images of shattering that silence with cries of passion..

Donnie distracted her. "Nice place."

"It's a shit-hole," she laughed, embarrassed. 

"You forget I didn't grow up rich. I had to earn my place in the world. Besides - I've seen worse." Donnie leaned down, stroking the ginger cat which was busily rubbing against his legs while purring like mad.

"Wow. The cat doesn't usually take to strangers."

Donnie gave her a look she couldn't understand, a mixture of concern and.. jealousy? "You bring a lot of strangers home with you, Amanda?"

She scoffed. "Don't take that tone with me, cheeky! No, I just meant - oh, never mind what I meant. D'ya want a brew? I'm gaggin.'"

Donnie was confused again. "As in, beer?"

"No, as in tea. Bit early for drinking." Amanda left him to seat himself as she gathered her supplies in the kitchen. While the kettle boiled, she talked to him through the doorway.

"So, what now? I mean, not that I'm in a hurry to get rid of you, but - you know - you said you'd come here to.." Amanda couldn't finish that sentence. As luck would have it, Donnie's phone rang. She tried not to listen in, really she did, but he didn't lower his voice, didn't walk further away. Like he didn't care if she overheard.

"You did? Uh huh. Wait, what? Are you sure?" He ran a hand over his face; Amanda felt ill. What bad news was the poor love being given now? "No. I, I get it. Yeah. I understand." There was a pause as the caller kept talking, Donnie looking anxious and annoyed. "No. Just.. give it to charity or something. It doesn't - I don't want it back." He thanked the caller and hung up. Amanda brought in a steaming cup of tea and a plate of biscuits. She sat in the chair nearest him, wanting to be closer, needing it, but not wanting to scare him away.

He took a sip, finding it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. The biscuits were even better.

"That was the hospital. They.. When I was here before, I didn't pick up her things. I couldn't, you know?"

Amanda nodded, trying not to feel a pang of jealousy for a dead woman. I'm here, and she isn't, Amanda reminded herself.

"So, her ring - the one I had made just for her - they checked it out. It's a fake."

Amanda didn't follow. "You what?"

"She.. She must've sold it. She got a copy made, a glass one. It's practically worthless." He covered his eyes with his hand, the tension mounting in his neck and shoulders. If Donnie didn't get a grip, he was going to end up with a migraine.

"I'm so sorry to hear that." It was true. Whether the ring had been worth one pound or millions, she shouldn't have done that. He had given it to her, out of all the women in the world he had to choose from, and she had considered it cheap. Worthless.

"It's like she just slapped me from the grave. Like she did it to hurt me, a final 'fuck you.' It wasn't enough that she lied, or that she cheated; she took the one thing I'd given to her and *only* her.." He was angry, chewing another biscuit with fury. 

"You deserve better than that."

He sighed. "I'm not much fun to be around, huh?"

She shook her head. "I'm just glad you're here. The rest is just.. details."

He opened up to her, pouring out all the hurt, all the secret abusive and controlling shit she'd put him through, all the things he'd hidden from the world. His head sank lower and lower, until he was practically talking to his chest.

"Are you alright?"

He wasn't. "I think I just need.. You got any headache stuff?"

Amanda rummaged til she found some paracetamol, bringing it to him with a glass of water. "You should have a lie down. Come on; upstairs with you."

He let her help him to her room. "I promise I won't bother you," she said, helping him slide between the sheets. 

He let out a small sound of pain. "Would you keep me company? It doesn't seem right to kick you out of your own room. Besides - I kinda like talking to you."

"Won't it make your headache worse?" Her heart was pounding between her ears, but she knew tablets wouldn't help that.

"I just.. I get lonely."

She sighed. "Yeah. I understand that."

Donnie sank into the pillow, drowsy but awake. Amanda began to stroke his arm, soothingly. "If you lay on your front, I could try to get the knots out of your shoulders. Might help a bit."

Donnie settled on his stomach, and Amanda placed one capable hand on each shoulder and squeezed. The sound that came from his lips was pure sex, and she felt flustered, the room suddenly hot.

"Fuck, that's good." Her fingers continued to work at the tight muscles, and, little by little, his body relaxed. The sounds became less frequent, and soon, his breathing was slow and even. Thinking he had fallen asleep, she gently eased herself away, holding her breath. As she turned to leave the room, a hand brushed her arm, gripping her wrist. 

"What are you - "

He pulled her down to the bed, and for one insane moment, she was frightened. That moment passed, and she felt it - felt that he wanted more from her. 

"Amanda."

"Yeah?"

He seemed so unsure of himself. It made her heart ache. "I.. Would you stay here? I mean, would it be okay if.."

Her eyes grew wide. "What exactly are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking.. it feels so good when you touch me. I want to make you feel good, too."

I'm dead, she thought. I'm dead, and this is heaven - or some weird hell where this turns out to be a joke, and - 

"Amanda?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Anything. Everything. Right now."

He kissed her, and she melted against him. They were already in bed, but fully clothed, and her skin was itching to shed its confines.

His head throbbed; he was worn out, deep down into his soul. Too many jobs, too many people, too many hours and miles of running and hiding from himself. From the truth.

From love.

"What are we doing?" Amanda heard the words come out of her mouth, hating herself for it, but knowing she couldn't take advantage of him. She'd hate herself even more for that.

"I just.. I want.. this. Want.. you.." 

"Are you sure I'm not taking advant - "

He shushed her with another kiss. "I invited myself to your home. I got myself into your bed. I pulled you down into it with me. And you're worried I'M being taken advantage of?"

Amanda stifled a giggle. "I just needed to be sure." She was drunk on his kisses, the taste of the tea mixing with his lips. A biscuit crumb found its way into her mouth, and she bit his lip, hungry for more.

The bed welcomed their bodies, pulling them down. Amanda peeled away her top, and Donnie stared at her breasts, the creamy patches of skin revealed by her bra. She placed her hands over his, guiding them to her curves, and he groaned. His headache was ebbing away, but not fully gone yet, and he felt it was better to lie still. Amanda felt a new confidence in herself as she positioned her hips over his. Their bodies rocked together as they kissed, her long hair trailing down into his face, pooling on his chest. He let a hand rake through it, feeling her. 

"So damn beautiful," he murmured, his fingers fiddling with the clasp of her bra. As he unhooked the garment, she playfully dropped it over the side of the bed onto the floor. Amanda's hands covered her chest, and Donnie was frustrated. "Will you let me..? Please?" 

Who could resist that voice? "So greedy," she teased him, moving her hands away so his fingers could pluck at her nipples, making her gasp. He was rock-hard; she could feel it, even through the too-many clothes they had on. The kisses were open-mouthed, his tongue plunging into her in a suggestive rhythm. Donnie broke the kiss, taking the skin of her neck between his teeth and sucking, softly at first, then harder as her hand pressed the back of his head to keep him there. Amanda was whimpering, and Donnie bit down - hard - taking her breath away. She knew it would leave a mark, and she wanted that - wanted the world to see that he had claimed her. 

His hands swept across her back, down to her hips, moving them as he wanted. She was so wet, soaking through to her jeans already, and he growled. "Do you like that?" She nodded, unable to form words, but he wouldn't let her off that easy. "Tell me what you want."

Amanda groaned. "You know bloody well what I - "

"Tell me."

She bit her lip, suddenly shy. "I want.. you. All of you. I want to make you feel good. I want to kiss away the pain, make you happy - make you cum - oh!"

Donnie pinched and rolled her nipples with his thumbs and fingers, making them hard. "Such a sexy body. Will you let me see the rest of you?"

She smiled. "Only if you return the favor." Donnie removed his shirt, and she ran her hands over that wall of muscle. He was perfect. Her fingers slid down across his taut abs, and he exhaled. 

"How's the headache?" She was teasing, and he played along.

"Getting better. I might need something for it, though. Like.." He pulled Amanda's body closer, until her chest was level with his face. As his lips closed around one aching nipple, she called his name, head thrown back. Donnie's tongue flicked over her again and again, and she was squirming against him, desperate for relief.

"Mmm. That helps," he purred. The other side got the same treatment, and soon Amanda was blind with need. "I need you to touch me.. there.. please.." 

Donnie played dumb. "Touch you where?"

Amanda slid a hand down her belly, slipping her fingers down into the waistband of her jeans. "Here. I need you here."

Donnie moaned her name, tugging at the button, lowering the zipper. His fingers found their way into her knickers, and he swore as he felt how wet she was.

"This ain't nothin', baby girl. We're just getting started."

Donnie used his hand to tease her, watching her face as her eyes glazed with lust, watching her lips become plump and ripe, feeling her juices moistening his hand. He knew when to rub gently and when to use pressure, when to speed up and when to slow down. Donnie knew her body like no other lover ever had.

"Is it good?"

"Oh.. yeah.."

"Tell me what you want." The fingers withdrew, leaving her gasping.

"I want.. mm.. I want.."

"Go on."

"I want to suck you."

He hadn't expected THAT.

"What?"

She shimmied down his body, tugging at his belt. "Come on. Get your keks off."

Donnie, in shock, obeyed. 

"Now those," she said, pointing at the underwear. Donnie, blushing, pulled them off and out of the way.

"Ohh.." Amanda ran a hand up and down the length of him. She let him rest in the palm of her hand, heavy, full. Hard.

"You don't have to - "

"But I want to." She dropped kisses along his neck and chest, moving down his solid stomach to the waiting prize. She was looking at him closely, memorizing him: the shape of him, the color, the feel of his skin. When her tongue reached out for a lick, he called her name.

"Amanda.." His hands played with her hair as she licked him like a lolly on a hot day. She was so sweet, so eager, and it was killing him. Too much of this good thing, and he was going to - 

"Sweetie, I'm.. damn. If you keep doing that, I'm.."

She sucked the tip into her mouth, looking up at him with a challenge in her eyes that said, 'MAKE me stop.'

Donnie felt himself getting close. "Honey, I mean it - if you keep.. fuck.."

She sucked slowly, hard, making him see stars. The flicker of her tongue on him was like fire, and he was burning up. Ready to explode.

"Amanda.. shit.."

She released him, moving up to kiss him once more. "I want you to taste me now."

She hadn't even had time to finish the sentence before she found herself on her back. "Wow."

Donnie made short work of her jeans and knickers, revealing the haven he'd been dying to explore.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for wha - "

Amanda forgot how to speak as he began to kiss, lick and suckle at her treasure like she was made of chocolate. Time seemed to lose all meaning; did he torture her for hours, or was it mere minutes? He was enjoying himself, holding nothing back; clearly he wanted this as much as she wanted it.

"Right there. Oh fuck. Just there.. don't stop.. mmm.. "

Donnie kept up the pace, licking where it felt best, making her lose control. She warned him that she was close, but he didn't let up. Her fingers gripped the sheet as his tongue sent her spiraling over the edge of ecstasy, calling his name as he lapped up her love.

When her lungs remembered how to breathe, she spoke. "That was.. fuckin' 'ell."

He giggled, kissing her thigh before moving to lay beside her. "Are you tired?"

"Mm? No. Are you?"

He looked down at his pulsing cock. "I'm very wide awake, Amanda. So is he."

She looked, too. It was true.

"Will you let me.. I mean, um.. I'd really like to.."

"I want you." She didn't know how she could want more after that amazing orgasm, but she did. She needed him inside her; if she died after, she'd die happy. 

"I don't have any - "

"It doesn't matter. I'm yours. I'm giving myself to you." Her hand wrapped around him; his cock wasn't the longest, but it was thick. She knew he would fill her beautifully.

"You're sure?" He gave her one last chance to back out.

"I'm sure."

Donnie kissed her, aligning their bodies. Close. Amanda threw one leg over him, pulling them tighter together; she wished they could merge into one body, one being. He already felt like he was a part of her; why not make the outside reflect what she felt inside?

"Please," she murmured against his mouth. He was so hot, so needy, quivering against her. "Please.."

Donnie nodded, and with one deep, consuming kiss, he slid home, into her - to the hilt. Time stopped; her heart began to beat in a new rhythm, one that matched his own. It was like being reborn. He looked into her eyes, feeling it too; this was different. They fit together like two halves of a whole, locked as one in the most intimate way. His hands fit her breasts just so; his cock fit her mouth like they were made for one another. His tongue reached the spots she needed it to when he tasted her - and it all seemed so perfect, so.. designed.

He began to move, never breaking eye contact. Normally she closed her eyes or looked away during sex, but this.. this was different. She felt like they were levitating, like the bed had dissolved and they were floating in mid-air. Amanda didn't want to miss a moment of it. 

"Is it good? Do you like that?"

She moaned 'yes.' He drove into her deeper, taking possession of her. The feel of his skin on hers was heaven; the way he filled her, she knew no one else would ever compare. 

Clamping down, she made HIM moan. "Do you like that? Is it good, Donnie?"

He gasped, feeling how tight she was for him. "So fucking good. So tight; so wet.."

"For you," she panted. "All yours."

That seemed to turn him on, judging by how much more swollen he became inside her. "All yours, baby. Just for you; no one else.."

He took her harder, and she welcomed him, taking it. Taking him.

"That's right. Make love to my body; it's for you. It's there whenever you need it."

Donnie kissed her shoulder, her neck, her cheek; but he couldn't stay away from her eyes for long. 

"Amanda.."

"Mmm.."

"It's been a long time for me. I don't know how long I can.."

She called his name as he hit a good spot. "It's okay. I want you to." Then, "I want you to cum inside me. I want you all over me. Yours."

Donnie reached down between them, stroking her clit, making her sweat. "Like that.. don't stop.."

"Cum for me, girl. I wanna feel you. So damn perfect.."

She watched his face as she came, hard, squeezing his cock with every wave. His groan echoed in her ears as he came inside her, filling her up. His love. His everything. It was the sexiest sound she'd ever heard.

Then she realized what she'd done. In the heat of the moment, she'd cried out, "I love you!"

There was nowhere to hide. She was totally exposed in every way.

"Oh God." Amanda covered her mouth, as if she could stop those words from escaping. "I'm sorry. I.. I didn't mean.."

He moved, gently, to pull out of her. "Are you telling me you didn't mean it?"

She shook her head, fighting back tears. "I DID mean it. It's just that, well, you don't know me very well, and I - "

He was looking at her strangely, and it made her feel fifty feet tall.

"You felt it, didn't you?," he asked.

"What?"

"The way we were.. together. Like we'd done this before."

The universe melted away. There was only this room, this bed, the two of them. Nothing more.

"I.. I.. " It was insane. Wasn't it? It couldn't be real.

"I felt it too. I think I was supposed to come back here looking for answers. I didn't find what I wanted."

Her heart sank.

"But I found what I needed." He kissed her hand, and her heart floated once more.

"What are you saying?"

Donnie rolled over onto his back, bringing her with him and settling her body over his. He was already getting hard again, and she felt the stir of desire as his cock nudged her opening.  
"I'm saying, Amanda, that I don't know you well - yet. But I'd like to. I'd like to see where this leads. I feel like.. like this is a new beginning."

She felt a tear trickle down her cheek. "All I ever wanted was a chance - a chance to make you happy. I'm sorry for all you've been through; really I am."

He nodded. She opened to him, gasping as he filled her once more. "You know what they say."

Amanda felt herself slipping into lust, barely able to think. "What's that, then?"

"'When one door closes, another one opens.' Maybe things happened the way they did for a reason."

Amanda found that hard to argue with. She found it hard to speak at all, other than to say 'yes' and 'please' and 'more.'

As she fell asleep in his arms that night, she had a dream. A bird with feathers of every color of the rainbow brought her a diamond ring. It was perfect; it was real; and it was all for her. Diamonds, after all, are forever.

Whether she got a diamond of her own, or whether she wore no ring at all, one thing was for sure:

The universe had finally opened the door of opportunity for her, and she would be eternally grateful.

-End


End file.
